It Is You
by Azura's Star
Summary: Two years after falling into a coma cos of being shot by Gabriel Kerry wakes up but is Smithy still there? I'm rubbish at writing summaries. Plz R&R :D After losing everything when my stupid comp crashed I have now sarted writing again. B xxx
1. Chapter 1 Two Photographs

Hello everybody! This is my first fanfic so please be nice. I couldn't resist making it a Kerry and Smithy one cos they are the best pairing ever and I still really miss her even if no one else does any more and everyone seems obsessed about Sam and Phil, not that I don't agree - they should have got together ages ago, like when Phil got shot by Dennis Weaver. Sorry it's so short but I promise I'll update soon!

p.s. I started writing this quite a while ago so it set before some things have happened in the show for example Suzie hasn't left, Kezia hasn't arrived (thankfully - btw if any one ever writes a Smithy/Kezia fic I will never review or respect them again - EVER)

Chapter 1- Two Photographs

Sgt. Smith closed the door to the sergeants' office and flopped into his chair. He put his elbows on his cluttered desk and put his head in his hands. Standing next to his computer was a framed photo of his girlfriend, Rachel Sanders. It caught his eye and he sighed. She had arrived at the station two years ago and since then had been the perfect PC; even Insp. Gold liked her. She never mixed personal and professional and always obeyed orders, following the rules to the letter, doing everything by the book. Outside of work she was shy when you first met her but when you got to know her she was friendly and, well… sweet. Yes, the word for it _was_ sweet, Smithy thought. That morning she had made Smithy breakfast and ironed a pair of his trousers, despite his protestations that she didn't have to. Then she had told him she loved him and kissed him before he pulled into the back yard and she got out of the car, probably not to speak to him until they got back in the car that evening.

Wheeling the chair backwards he opened the top drawer of his desk. Inside, on top of many case files and other accumulated junk was another framed photo. This one was of a tall blonde woman with bright eyes and a fun smile. She was wearing a blue paper hat and had a strand of tinsel around her neck.

Sighing again he picked up the car keys that were next to the photo and closed the drawer. He got up and left the room.

p.p.s. have you read what it says on the "Smithy and Kezia did 'it' last night!" - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! But there's still hope: "Only today, Smithy is ignoring Kezia.". "However, if Kezia is one thing, it's tenacious and she's not about to let this issue drop." However if Kezia is one thing it's stupid and she should just realise Smithy is too good for her. "Tracking down the confused sergeant she accuses him of being gay or a cross dresser at the weekend." How dare she. "It's up to Smithy to decide now, if it was a one night wonder or if there'll be seconds for the pair of them…" Please please please no.


	2. Chapter 2 Waking Up

Chapter 2 - Waking Up

I'm sorry for all the ranting at the start and end of the last chapter this time I'm determined to keep it short so thank you so much for your kind reviews. I hope you like this chapter to and I look forward to your reviews. Luv Laura

In a private room in St. Hugh's hospital, PCs Honey Harman and Yvonne Hemmingway were sitting next the bedside of a young woman. It was the same woman as the one in the photo on Smithy's desk.

'How're you feeling?' asked Yvonne.

'Not bad, considering I've just been shot,' Kerry replied, 'How did you two get here so quick?'

'Oh we're working on a case of domestic violence; the wife has just been brought in here for the third time in two months but trying to convince her to press charges is like drawing blood from a stone… but anyway, I'm really glad you're okay.' Honey gushed.

'Have they any idea who … I mean … well, who shot me? Do they think it might be the Radfords?

'Kerry,' Yvonne said slowly, 'All the Radfords are dead.'

'What? How?'

'Well, Wayne was killed in prison, David hung himself in prison, and Rob Thatcher shot Irene.'

'Just how long have I been asleep?'

Yvonne shot a sideways glance at Honey before answering. 'Just under two years,' she stated solemnly.

A look of disbelief crossed Kerry's face, 'Wow,' she breathed. Then determined not to sound as panicked as she felt she asked, 'Well, what's been going on with you then?'

'Oh, not much, just the usual. When you're up to it we'll all go out for a drink and fill you in on everything.'

'What about Sun Hill, any news?'

'Well, the station's been refurbished,' Yvonne began but seeing Kerry's look of 'about time' continued, 'One of the PCSOs drove a van full of petrol containers into reception. Ken was in the back of the van and he didn't make it. Smithy tried to save him but it exploded before he could get him out.'

'Smithy's okay though,' Honey interjected, 'He spent a few days in St. Hugh's but he recovered. Shame the same can't be said of Marilyn and Andrea Dunbar.'

A memory flashed into Kerry's mind, 'She was a journalist, and she was having an affair with the DI.'

'Yes, apparently she slept with him just to share secrets under the covers,' Honey said with a cheeky smirk.

'Honey!' Yvonne exclaimed, 'I think it was more than that. He bunked off Ken's funeral to go to hers, didn't he?'

'Well it didn't last very long did it? Word around CID is that he's having it off with Suzie.'

Kerry shook her head, 'How do you know all this stuff?'

'Oh you know me, I'm just friendly, I talk to people.' Honey said.

'Gossip more like!' said Yvonne, chuckling.

The chat carried on as Yvonne told Kerry about Gary being promoted to an acting DC before getting shot and going home to Manchester, about DS Debbie McAllister leaving to spend more time with her son, about Jim developing a gambling habit and leaving before he could hurt June more, about the new arrivals in uniform including Amber Johansson who had then left, Leela Kapoor, Dan Casper, Roger Valentine, Will Fletcher and in CID: Jo Masters, Zain Nadir, Stuart Turner, Mickey coming back. They failed to mention Rachel.

Eventually, even with Honey's interruptions, Yvonne fell silent.

'What about Gabriel, is he still here?' Kerry asked trying to sound casual.

'He threw himself off a roof after June, Smithy and Sheelagh found proof that he wasn't Gabriel Kent.' Honey sat up and opened her eyes wide for dramatic effect but looked rather crestfallen when Kerry continued.

'I know that's what I was coming to the station for – to tell Inspector Gold before I was … shot.' She tailed off.

After a few seconds she added: 'What about Smithy? How is he?' Trying even harder to sound casual.

Yvonne and Honey looked at each other, both seemed unwilling to speak.

Eventually, Honey said tentatively, 'He came to see you everyday at first until Inspector Gold told him that she would turn your machine off herself if he kept sneaking up here when he was meant to be on duty.'

'He still has a photo of you in his drawer that he thinks we don't know about,' Yvonne supplied.

'He went absolutely spare at the Super for not letting the ambulance in sooner.'

'He blamed himself for what happened to you.'

'Okay,' said Kerry, slightly overwhelmed.

'When we told the station that you had woken up he said he would come right over.'

'But seen as he's not here yet, he's probably got held up.'

Yvonne and Honey looked at each other again.

'But umm, about three months ago a new PC arrived at Sun Hill and well…'

'She's female,' said Honey helpfully.

'Yes and her name's Rachel Sanders and um…'

'He's been seeing her, hasn't he? Well you guys, I don't mind, I mean I have been out of it for a pretty long time, you couldn't expect him to hang around for ever.' Although Kerry smiled and tried to sound realistic and sincere, her friends were not fooled.

The three of them sat there in silence for a few minutes before Yvonne said that they had better get back to work or Inspector Gold would be after them too. Kerry thanked them for coming to see her and for cheering her up. Yvonne wasn't so sure they _had_, but they said they would visit again soon and left the room.


	3. Chapter 3 A Welcome Stranger

Chapter 3 - A Welcome Stranger

Hi again and as always thanks for all your reviews. Sorry its short but I promise I will update again soon. Luv Laura (bawbert ;D)

Nurses came and went and adjusted this and that and Kerry flicked through the magazines that her earlier visitors had brought her but all she could think about was a certain sergeant.

_Where is Smithy? Hadn't he said he would be right over? _But then policing was unpredictable, he could have been called away.

Eventually she saw a head peer through the window on the door to her room and Sgt Smith entered. He looked incredibly uneasy as he greeted her.

'Hi,' she said.

'I'm sorry I didn't come sooner,' he said, still standing with his cap in his hands. 'I've been sitting in the car for ages trying to figure out what to say…' he trailed off.

'Listen Smithy, I've been out of it for a long time and my memory's a bit fuzzy. I can't really remember anything about before I was shot.'

Smithy looked incredulous and slightly shocked but Kerry continued, trying to sound casual, 'Anyway, how are you? Honey and Yvonne said you're seeing a new PC.'

'Um yeah,' said Smithy.

'They also told me you got blown up.'

'So tactful,' Smithy smiled. 'Yep, I guess that makes two of us.'

'I hope Gabriel, I mean David, wasn't the first face you saw when you came round.'

'Unfortunately it was; he jumped at the chance to pull me out of there and be hailed as a hero.'

'I hear you were one of the last faces he saw alive, before he jumped.'

'He jumped before I had the chance to push him.' Smithy said ruefully.

'Well, I'd be the first to admit he had it coming but I wish I'd been able to arrest him.'

Slowly their talked turned to lighter things and Smithy gradually relaxed. They talked for at least an hour as if they were in the nick canteen until Smithy got a call on his PR and had to leave.


	4. Chapter 4 Lonely

Chapter 4 - Lonely

Kerry was in hospital for about another two weeks and somebody from Sun Hill visited her nearly every day. Mostly it was Yvonne and or Honey although they did bring all the new people to meet her. Her least frequent visitor was Smithy and while she wished to see him again she wanted to see the old Smithy, the Smithy that had told her he loved her and could make her laugh not the Smithy that was always on edge around her and didn't know what to say. But apart from worrying about being healthy enough to return to Sun Hill and how she would be treated when she got there, there wasn't very much to occupy Kerry and so it was a relief when she was finally discharged and she moved in with her dad.

Even there though she realised she was restless and she found she was pushing her body more and more to return to fitness. Her friends visited her less and less now that she was staying with her dad, she liked to think it was because he made them uncomfortable. Smithy hardly ever visited. Her dad kept trying to find little things to amuse her, like decorating the house for Christmas and going Christmas shopping, and Kerry did appreciate it but sometimes she just wanted to lie alone in her room.

Sometimes she was amused at the irony of how much her job meant to her. She remembered when one suspect had asked her what it was like being a copper she had replied indifferently, 'It pays the bills.' She had never considered herself as one of those coppers who were married to the job and had no life outside it but now she had to concede that without the job her life was pretty empty. And so Kerry counted down the days until she could return to Sun Hill, the week before Christmas.

So there we go for now. Sorry it was short lol. Thanks for all your reviews, you know you'll make me very happy by pressing that button again though lol. Love Laura (bawbert ;D)


	5. Chapter 5 Giving In

Chapter 5 - Giving In

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry for not updating sooner but I've had so much work now I'm in uni. I think though that you won't be waiting so long for the next one so enjoy. And thankyou for your reviews!

'How do you feel about today then,' Inspector Gold asked her favourite Sergeant.

Smithy shrugged.

'Oh come on Smithy!' She replied exasperated. 'Don't tell me you _still_ feel for her, its been so long now and what about Rachel, I thought you two were getting on well.'

'We are, it's just, there's a lot of history.'

'Yes, not all of it good!' The Inspector interrupted.

'Right before she was shot she said she loved me and I know she meant it but now she's pretending she doesn't remember.' He said with a hint of dejection.

'Smithy, maybe she's giving you a chance to get on with your life,' she replied still exasperated, but then, more softly, 'Smithy you should take the chance and just leave her behind you.'

'Now I don't know if this is a good idea,' she continued, 'but there is nobody else to do it, I've set Kerry to shadow you for the next couple of days at least, she needs to be shown round the new station and you should go over all the new and old procedures, see if she really is up to coming back to work. Now, off you go, you have a briefing to hold.'

Smithy, realising he had been dismissed walked out and off to the briefing.

It was then that Smithy realised that the Inspector's would have considered her idea backfired. She had hoped that being forced to spend so much time together would prove to Kerry and Smithy that they were not meant for each other but when Smithy opened the door to the briefing room his eyes automatically fell on the uniformed figure at the front and he felt a surge of emotion. Then he thought of Rachel and felt a flood of guilt, thankfully she wasn't working today.

Smithy had always dreamed of the day when he would be working with Kerry again, he kept thinking of little scenarios in his head where she was there, he kept imaging her voice in his head, interrupting people, especially boring speeches by the super, making jokes, giving him ideas on tough cases but somehow now she was here and they were together again it wasn't how he had imagined it.

There was a weird tension between them now, Smithy felt as if he couldn't be himself. It didn't help that Kerry remembered everything anyway so he didn't have much explaining to do meaning they often found themselves caught up in lengthy silences.

At the end of the day it was a relief for both of them to retire to their separate locker rooms. Yvonne had also just finished a shift and was packing up.

'So how'd your first day go?' She asked.

'Fine,' Kerry said non-committed, she wasn't in the mood to talk.

'Oh come on, you can't be expecting that to satisfy me, I think you need a good drink and you can tell me all about it.'

'Actually I think I'll just go home,' Kerry started to say.

'Nope I won't hear of it,' Yvonne said, 'Besides everyone is coming to celebrate you coming back, you're not allowed to shirk your own drink.' With that she grabbed Kerry's arm and started pulling her towards the door.

'Alright, alright, I give in,' Kerry laughed.

'That's more like it!' Yvonne teased and with that they left for the pub.


	6. Chapter 6 Staring

Chapter 6 - Staring

Hey everyone! Sorry it has been such a long time but my hard drive died and I lost everything and I just couldn't find the heart to write it all again for some time. But thanks to Lauz who inspired me to start writing again (even if she doesn't know it) and for always being there for a little ks chat. Right now anything seems better than revising for uni exams! Please keep reviewing too. Lots of love bawbert xx  


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Kerry's drinks had got a good turnout most of Uniform and CID were there. Even Smithy and Rachel. A little spark ignited in Kerry's heart when she saw him and for a second she forgot that he was with someone else, until Rachel popped out from behind him. I was the first time they had been formally introduced and she was not as Kerry imagined. She seemed quiet and meek which wasn't normally the kind of girl Smithy went for. Smithy usually only kissed girls to stop them from shouting at him. Kerry smiled as she remembered all the arguments they'd had and all the times they'd kissed afterwards. But with a jolt she was brought back to the pub as Yvonne grabbed her arm and guided her to a seat at a table in the corner. She was then engulfed in a tide of girly conversation by Honey and she felt her problems lift a bit. With alcohol and good friends around her it was hard to resist being infected by Honey's bubbly enthusiasm and Yvonne's unshakable cheerfulness. That was until she glanced towards the bar and her gaze fell on Smithy and Rachel sitting alone. Smithy has his arm around her and suddenly Kerry felt very alone and dejected again.

Suddenly it was Will who was in Kerry's vision. Until now the guys had left the girls alone but now he bounded up to their table, nearly spilling his pint. The fact that he didn't was made all the more impressive as in his arms were a bundle of party poppers, streamers and other celebratory paraphernalia and being a copper in a pub he was naturally tipsy. He dumped everything on the table in front of Kerry and Honey and Yvonne immediately grabbed at the party poppers.

'To Kerry!' Honey beamed and set one off, aiming so that Kerry got covered with all the paper streamers. The words 'to Kerry' resounded throughout the pub and she had to swallow as a surge of emotion coursed through her. She hadn't realised how many people at Sun Hill supported her. Although many of them didn't know her she was a fellow copper.

Smithy was now turned around and looking at the little party around Kerry's table. He watched as Will casually tucked the paper ribbons behind her ear and although he couldn't hear the word that were said he could make a pretty good guess at their meaning.

Kerry pulled all the paper out of her hair and put it on the table in front of her. Honey reached out and pushed Will backwards.

'Bugger off,' she laughed, also not completely sober. Someone shouted 'karaoke' and Will hurried off, tripping over his own feet in the process which made Honey laugh.

'I think he likes you,' Honey said with a teasing grin.

Kerry scowled at her and glanced away, her eyes falling on Smithy who hastily looked away. 'Yeah ok,' Kerry scoffed, 'Whatever you say little miss drunk.' There was just too much venom in her voice for sarcasm. Will's attentions and her friends gossiping about them were the last things she needed.

'I think I might call it a day now,' Kerry said, 'it's only my second day tomorrow after all, don't want to be hungover.'

'Kerry!' Yvonne protested. 'Will and Honey that's just how they are, they didn't mean any harm.'

'I don't think it's us that Kerry cares about.' Honey remarked sardonically with a glance over at Smithy.

Kerry grabbed her coat and bag and stood up, her face perfectly composed, 'Bye Yvonne,' she said and walked out. Even though Honey was her best friend and she knew she didn't mean anything by it there was too much truth in her words for Kerry to be completely comfortable.

Smithy noticed the movement in the corner of his eye and moved his head slightly to watch Kerry walk out. His heart and his head had an argument as to whether he should follow her but it was cut short by Will abandoning the karaoke crowd and also heading for the door.


	7. Chapter 7 Out In The Open

Chapter 7 – Out In The Open

Hey guys! Two updates in a week you lucky people! Anyway please read on and enjoy, as always thanks to Vikki and Lauz and Kate for reviewing.

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The next day Kerry was determined to make things normal again between Smithy and her. Her chat with Will last night had made her realise how many positives she had in her life right now. He had assumed that she was just experiencing some coming back to work blues and she hadn't corrected him but what he had said made sense anyway. Smithy and Kerry were still partnered together as Smithy was still showing Kerry the new procedures. However nothing that drastic had changed and even though Kerry had been in a coma for the last two years she had managed to memorise the way to the canteen immediately. She had also picked up the other new procedures quickly as Smithy had expected she would. Now he had nothing new to show her and the conversation had dried up. They were sitting at opposite computers both looking people up on CRIMMINT and writing reports for the DI. 

Eventually it was Kerry that broke the silence, 'You would have thought that in two years the Met could have devised some amazing new system that meant no more paper work for us.'

'What like magical elves?' Smithy replied gruffly.

Kerry recoiled slightly, surprised at Smithy's hostility, she buried her head in the work again.

The seconds ticked by and turned into minutes, Kerry was desperately trying to think of something to say, anything to break the silence.

'So how's things with you and Rachel then?' inwardly she kicked herself. Anything except that. She desperately wanted to know of course but that was the kind of question Honey was here for. Kerry ducked her head again and braced herself for the oncoming explosion.

'Frankly that's none of your business PC Young.'

'Right, sorry,' Kerry said, relieved that she had got off lightly.

The whir of computers and the ticking of the clock once again became the only audible things in the room.

'Listen Smithy,' Kerry began, she wasn't exactly sure what she was going to say but she knew she had to say something. Surprisingly she was cut off.

'You gonna tell me about you and Will then?' His voice was forcibly civil.

'What?' was all Kerry could manage and it came out very loud and high, it felt as if Smithy has slapped her.

Outside Honey and Will were walking past but hearing Kerry's exclamation they stopped. Will made to enter the room but Honey grabbed him and pulled him down so that they were kneeling under the window.

'Oh come,' Smithy jeered. 'I know you Kerry are you trying to tell me that nothing happened? I saw him follow you out of the pub for crying out loud!'

Outside the window Honey looked at Will eyebrows raised. Will however was distracted by Lewis walking past, he cottoned on to what they were doing immediately and crouched down beside them. Emma who was following him was not so quick on the uptake however and stood outside the window looking down for a second before the others hurriedly pulled her down too.

'Who?' Lewis whispered.

'Smithy and Kerry,' replied Honey.

'Ooooh boy' said Lewis.

Luckily for those outside, the occupants of the room were too preoccupied to notice.

'You don't know me at all Smithy! I used to think you did but every thing's different now!'

Lewis caught a glimpse of Dan walking down an adjacent corridor and called out to him. He joined them.

'Don't try and dodge the question!' Smithy retorted, an infuriatingly smug look on his face.

Their voices were getting louder with ever sentence.

'Not that it's any of your business but for your information Will was very kind and sweet. I could talk to him and he listened, unlike you at the moment!'

Outside Will looked around at the little group now crowded on the floor under the window and pointed at himself. He mouthed the word 'me' as Kerry said the words 'kind and sweet'. Dan looked incredulous and Lewis threw a pretend punch at him which nearly caused him to topple over. Honey and Emma just smiled.

'Yeah right!

'Why do you even care anyway?'

'Because ...'

Kerry paused for a second. But then the anger overcame the shock, she couldn't believe Smithy could be so hypocritical. 'I don't believe you! You are the one that has gone off with someone else and you are trying to make me feel guilty!'

'Well what do you expect Kerry? You were in a coma for two years!'

'Man this is getting heated!' Lewis said as Leela joined them.

'How long have you been here?' she asked 'They probably want their privacy and what if Inspector Gold finds us?'

Everyone else just looked at her. It was Honey, the most experienced over-hearer who voiced everyones feelings and told Leela to shut up or bugger off.

'I don't know Smithy, I know that it's selfish and unreasonable but I did expect!'

'Two years Kerry! You have no idea how hard it was, suddenly you were just gone from my life! You were dead to me!'

Outside the room everyone flinched.

Kerry stopped. She raised her fist as if to punch him but battled with herself and stopped. Instead she whirled around and headed for the door.

Outside everyone realised where she was headed at the same time and all tried to get out of the way in different directions. They ended up in a big tangled pile on the floor as Kerry wrenched the door open. However the tears in her eyes and haste to get away meant she didn't notice them as she fled towards the locker room. She slammed the door behind her. The pile on the floor relaxed slightly, that was until Smithy opened the door. He couldn't fail to notice the mound of uniformed figures on the floor.

'You know what? You were right Honey. This floor is really shiny.' Will blurted out.

The rest of the pile groaned and Smithy turned and slammed the door.

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Well what did you think? I know there are loads of you who have read this but haven't reviewed (there is a hit count on here that I have just found hehe) and I have now enabled anonymous review (which I didn't realise where disabled sorry hehe) so even if you are not a member please please please review whether you loved it or loathed it I would love to know what you thought. 

bawbert xx


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